is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
