Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Randomize
