he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
