she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
