just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
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