She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
