During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize