Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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