we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
