Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
