An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
