I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
