Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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