dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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