But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize