I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize