My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
