i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
