I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
