Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
