i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
