I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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