So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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