Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
