I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
