I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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