I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
