Having a random hookup so left but love u
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
