Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
