when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
