Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
50% drunk capacity currently
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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