i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
