marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
