my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
