No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
