there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
