We need to start having sex underwater more often.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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