D3 body, D1 cock
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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