Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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