I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
