my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
When did angry sex become our thing?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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