Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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