Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
