dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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