u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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