After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
