The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Randomize
