she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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