Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
