More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
