he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
it glows. i had to have it.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I forget how to act sober
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
