She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
