you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
