Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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