I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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