i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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